Hate Letter
I talked crap @ 2:21 p.m. on Sunday, Feb. 16, 2003

You play all high and mighty goodie-two shoes, but you have so many faces, and they aren't that nice.

You like to call yourself Christian even, though you hardly act it.

We were friends. We were really good friends.

What happened?

One day you decided you were better than me?

Well I'm sorry if I'm not as cool as you, or as skinny as you.

You won't even tell me! How petty and stupid is that!?

I ask you what is the matter.

Nothing you tell me. Nothing

Bullshit.

And its true, you were only friends with me when it was convenient for you.

And then one day you change your mind and leave me shut out.

I wouldn't hate it so much if I didn't have to see you everyday at school.

That our friends are mutual. I bet you hate that as well.

I hate the way you treat me, I deserve better than that. You make me feel like shit.

I don't like it, and there's shit all I can do about it too.

That's what makes it so frustrating. I've wanted to say this to you for months. Months. You made me so upset, you made me cry, or made me feel like I wanted to cry.

I hate that you've made it feel like a war between us, like we're competing for our friends' attention.

Thanks.

real noble of you.

I felt really bad at being so happy when you were gone. I enjoyed it. I felt good, i felt happy, I didn't feel opressed or like shit, the way you always make me feel.

I suppose it's not you, "nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent" I suppose its true, but I let you into deep parts of myself, and I can't let that go to easily. You were a friend when I so really needed one, I can't thank-you enough for that.

I feel like you regret that now.

I make mistakes, and I'm sorry if one of them was you.

But you make mistakes to, live up to it, and deal with it.

I don't want this petty shit anymore.

I'm sick of your high and mighty crap.

You make me not want to come anymore, you make me want to leave. I think you're upset that I've gotten so close to them, so close to people you admire but could never get close to because they wouldn't let you. Yes, they let me.

So you cling tighter and tighter to those few you have, as i cling tighter to mine, and if something doesn't happen soon, I'm afraid I'm going to do something I'll regret.

You've pissed me off, and I don't deal well with that, I've tried so hard to just overcome it, not think of it, I've thought of why you do it, why you act the way you do, and still, with everything I know, with you being the weaker one in not even admitting a problem...I can't deal with that.

I hate it when girls are like that, petty and stupid. Sure, I'm a girl, but when I'm mad at someone, upset with someone, whatever, for the most part, I tell them. I don't go beating around the bush.

I asked you point blank what was the matter.

Nothing you say, nothing, there's nothing, nothings changed.

Bullshit.

At least I can deal with it, you don't even have the guts to say it. Probably because you know its for a stupid reason.

Grow up will you?

Don't be seven.

I'm getting sick of it.

So sick of it.

I just don't want to deal with it anymore.

But I have to, every time I see you, which I fear, is way more than I could ever want.

Not-so-sincerly, Me.

<< | >>